Have you ever wondered why you behave differently in love and other human relationships? This may also depend on the people you surround yourself with, but it may also be that you have some qualities that are not always fully expressed.
But there’s another reason for this: There’s a part of your personality that regulates your behavior in romantic relationships. And not only that but also your dark side. For example: How do you react when someone is mean or do you like to take revenge when someone misbehaves with you?
We all have a light and a dark side of the moon, so to speak. Today we are going to talk about the dark side. Her name is – Lilith, the black moon.
What is the black moon Lilith in astrology?
Your black moon Lilith is not a planetary position like other positions in the Natal chart (Mercury, Venus, Mars…). She is practically the dark side of the moon.
In astrology, Lilith represents the power of dark and wild feminine energy. It shows us the way we conquer, and how we fall in love, but also what we are afraid of and whether we let it have a big influence on us.
When we discover, understand, and heal them within ourselves, we can be more in alignment with our feminine selves.
Who is Lilith actually?
Of course, there are different variations and stories about how she was born and who she actually was. In some religions, she is the first wife of Adam, banished from paradise because of her independence. Other stories and folk beliefs say she is a demon or even the lover of the devil himself.
Be that as it may, its symbol and meaning in astrology is something that holds a lot of power and hides great potential. You can learn a lot from her and get a lot of benefits from getting familiar with your Lilith sign. Another question usually comes up at this point:
How to find Lilith in your birth chart?
In some horoscope calculators, the Lilith symbol is difficult or impossible to find. Therefore, you can either search specifically for your Lilith sign on the Internet (there are some calculators where you can find it), or you can search for its symbol in your horoscope.
It looks like a crescent moon, with a cross at the bottom. You can see it in the photo above. Here is an example from a horoscope I found on the Internet. In this case, the person has their Lilith sign in Aries.
In the following text, we explain what the individual Lilith signs mean, what fears they trigger, and how you can heal them.
What does your Lilith sign say about you?
Now that you’ve found your Lilith sign, you can read a little more about it and see how it suits you, what you can do with it, and how you can change your attitude towards your relationships.
It is crucial that you discover your fears and limiting beliefs so that you can work on them and improve your life in general.
Lilith in Aries: the ruler
If your Lilith sign is in this fire sign, you are a real ruler, and not just in your life. This means that you make and enforce the rules, but you demand the same from those around you. You have your procedures, habits, and routines and you don’t like adjustments, but you want others to adapt to you. Independence and passion are well known to you. You don’t need a man, but you keep everything under control in a relationship or marriage.
You usually get everything you want and how you want it because you don’t like waiting. Your timing is something you don’t compromise on. This is a good and a problematic feature at the same time. Your fears and things you should work on are precisely the loss of control because you think that you have the best organization and that nothing can go well without you. The need to prove yourself can bring more disadvantages than advantages, so be a little more careful not to overdo it.
When you flirt, do it directly and openly, without games or mixed signals. You expect the same from the other side. If you notice that someone is lying or cheating on you, you have no problem removing that person from your life. This may seem too extreme at times, but you function this way and it’s no secret. The people around you sometimes feel like they always have to be careful about what they do, what they talk about, and how they behave so that you don’t get angry.
Lilith in Taurus: the sensual one
If you have Lilith in this earth sign, you like to spoil yourself and other loved ones. You feel all the joys of life deep in your body and enjoy celebrating them again and again. It’s easy for you to cheer for life and that’s why life does the same for you. Other people around you may not always understand this, but even when you’re not in the best mood, you find a way to enjoy.
It’s not that you don’t have problems in life, it’s that you don’t let them rule your life. This is one of your greatest strengths. On the other hand, money problems may annoy you the most because you always want to be financially secure and take care of yourself. Independence and all material things are of great importance to you. But what is very difficult for you is that you simply cannot let others take care of you. Even when it comes to your partner or loved ones.
If you want something you will get it, it’s just a matter of time when that happens. You flirt subtly and like to be conquered. Depending on how someone approaches you, you decide whether you want to be conquered or not. Your weak points may be too much stress with money and a little laziness. You have to feel really good to be hardworking, otherwise, you’d rather drink coffee and enjoy the sun all day. A little more balance would do you good.
Lilith in Gemini: the curious one
If you have your Lilith in this communicative air sign, then you’re just like Bubbles from the animated film Powerpuff Girls. Most fans agree that Bubbles is the cutest of all the girls, which is why she represents “joy and laughter.” You have a pleasant communication style that is easily adaptable to everyone. You are empathetic and can understand almost everyone without judgment. This is one of the reasons why you are very popular in your community (and beyond).
You are a cheerful soul who can sometimes seem careless and naive because others think that nothing serious can be discussed with you. Of course, that’s just her opinion, because you know that not everyone is worthy of your depth. You are easily drawn into conversation and can hold your attention with a good story. In order to conquer you, you have to be able to talk beautifully and be so interesting that you want to listen to him for a long time. Or that he likes to listen to you. In any case, communication is extremely important for you in all relationships.
It’s hard for you when someone doesn’t like you, ignores you, or excludes you for no reason. Then you can become quite depressed. Most of the time it’s not your fault, because people often imagine things and then get angry when those expectations don’t come true. However, you should work on expressing your own opinion and your inner voice more often and not shutting it down and conforming so much. Show openly and freely who you really are!
Lilith in Cancer: the empath
If you have Lilith in this emotional water sign, then you can perceive and understand all the feelings in the world, which is not difficult for you at all. Listening to and understanding all living things is a completely normal thing for you. But what can often happen is that you are overwhelmed by it and don’t know which of these are your own feelings and which you have just taken over from others. Your empathy is extraordinary, but you should also have certain limits.
Your love language is that of wanting to help. If you like someone, you will want to take care of them. When someone does you a favor or encourages you with words, you consider it flirting. You care about your loved ones and always want to be sure that they are okay. That’s why they always feel comfortable with you and can tell you anything. But be careful not to pamper your partner or loved ones too much, as this can be a major side effect of your care.
However, Lilith in Cancer should learn to set stable boundaries and not exceed them. She can easily fall into a victim role or manipulate her emotions when she feels uncomfortable in a relationship, which is quite toxic. That’s why it’s much better to talk openly about your own wishes and expectations than to use passive-aggressive means. To have a healthy relationship, you should work on these weak points.
Lilith in Leo: the self-confident one
If you have Lilith in this powerful and passionate fire sign, then you are an extremely confident and self-assured person. You can handle all kinds of situations and people and come out a winner. It is no problem for you to take care of yourself. When you are doing well, those around you are also doing well. You enjoy sharing and celebrating your well-being.
In love, you can be a bit loud and dramatic, but only when you are insecure. Either in yourself, in your partner or in your relationship in general. Most of the time you radiate an infectious and bright energy that comes directly from the sun. The Sun is your ruling planet and gives you a lot of drive, but also a lot of ego. You should balance this well so that it doesn’t become too much and overwhelm you. When you flirt, you know exactly who you want and why. This person must be able to offer you a lot, but you will appreciate all of it and give twice as much in return. You believe in fair play when it comes to a partnership.
You are a great motivator for your friends and family, you are very popular in your society. Your way of communicating is open and without masks, you always say it exactly as it is. This can be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing because your opinion really isn’t always being asked. Being a little nicer about what you want to say when you criticize something could be a big help. You should also keep your drama queen moments under control if you want to build healthy interpersonal relationships.
Lilith in Virgo: The Perfectionist
If you have Lilith in this disciplined earth sign, then you are a hard-working person who wants to have everything under control. Of course, this isn’t always possible, and this will cause you quite a bit of stress. You constantly want to improve or change something and are never satisfied with what you (or others) have done because it can always be better. This is both a positive and negative trait and here’s why.
This quality always gives you a new drive to strive for something better in your life and move forward. Luckily, you usually get exactly what you want, but not exactly in the way you imagined. You’re so focused on the end goal that you can’t even enjoy the journey because you haven’t noticed it at all. Unfortunately, you behave the same way in your relationships, which can be quite overwhelming for most people.
When it comes to communication, you are quite open, but not too direct, because you are good at assessing what you should say and when. You are a born diplomat or lawyer who will do anything for her own ends. You are not materialistic, but you want to be financially secure and fairly independent. Not all men can keep up with you, and when you meet one, you should try to limit your comments that are not decisive. You flirt with your eyes and your smile, very subtle and feminine. Over time, you will learn that love cannot run as smoothly as your business, and this will bring you great relief.
Lilith in Libra: the seeker of harmony
If you have Lilith in this loving air sign, then you are a nice person who wants peace and balance in the world. You communicate in an intelligent and sensitive way that won’t offend anyone. You are popular in your circle of friends because you don’t like arguments and never want to get involved in them. You would prefer to avoid any drama and conflict.
That’s one of the reasons people appreciate you – you’re always fair and diplomatic. But this very quality can also be problematic, because you can never be sure whether you are expressing your true opinion, provoking a reaction or just trying to fit in. This behavior may seem opportunistic and cause you a lot of worries. That’s why it would be good if you represented your own views loud and clear and stood behind your decisions.
You are always flirting: when you talk, when you walk, when you want, and even when you don’t want to. That’s just who you are – you’re always smiling and in a good mood. Your cuteness shouldn’t be mistaken for flirting, but most people do just that. Normally you have no problems attracting someone, but maintaining a long-term and healthy relationship requires more patience and effort from you because you should learn to keep your egoism in love under control.
Lilith in Scorpio: the magnetic one
If you have Lilith in this mysterious sign, you are a magnetic person who radiates a very special energy. Your feminine side is quite dark and you are so confident that you can conquer anyone that it comes across that way. For you, flirting is a game from which you always emerge victorious. No one can remain immune to so much charisma.
There may be times when you need to tone down or even hide your bright and burning passion because you think it will scare others away. That may be true sometimes, so you should start slowly and then see how far you can go. However, as a rule, if you can’t be yourself with a person, is that even a person for you?
Just as you accept and celebrate the individuality of others, you should also respect and celebrate the qualities that make you who you are. When communicating, you can also be too direct or too dark. You could use a little tact. In a relationship, it can also happen that you are simply too dominant, that the other side feels completely useless and becomes passive. This makes you angry and is what you complain about the most without realizing that sometimes you are the reason behind it.
Lilith in Sagittarius: the wild one
If you have Lilith in this optimistic fire sign, then you have a wild nature that is not easily tamed. You should also preserve this adventurous and wild soul that you have. But not to your own detriment. You may not accept some things just because society or other people have confirmed them as good or right. Such defiance is really not good for you and your psyche.
Lilith in Sagittarius likes free conversations, long journeys and a good mood. She is her own ruler because she doesn’t want to be told what to do. That’s why you are the representative of your own interests in communication and can negotiate very well for yourself. You are always nice and friendly, but not because you want everyone to like you, but to build good relationships. You never know who you might need. You conduct your business professionally and reliably.
When you flirt, you do it effortlessly and quite successfully. You have a warm and infectious energy that people want to have for themselves. However, you are quite picky and do not want to enter into ordinary relationships, partnerships or marriages. This is too old-fashioned and incomprehensible for you. You would rather live as a free field rifleman until someone comes along who will completely understand you. In any case, you have to learn that even something ordinary and every day sometimes deserves some of your attention.
Lilith in Capricorn: the seeker of success
If you have Lilith in this serious earth sign, you are a reliable and hardworking person who wants to be in control of all her affairs (and her entire life). Lilith in Capricorn is so focused on life income and work that she sometimes forgets that she also has a private life and should enjoy it too. In love, you may be too stubborn or traditional.
You don’t want to settle for anything less than what you bargained for, and that’s a good thing. However, you should remember that not everything in life can develop according to a precise plan and that there are several paths that lead to the same result. If you are a little more flexible from time to time, you can achieve more. You should communicate your needs and wants clearly so that you don’t end up dissatisfied because no one knows exactly what you want.
When flirting, you are direct and the person you are interested in knows exactly what you want from them. That’s worthy of all respect, but sometimes it would be better to let yourself be conquered and behave a little more tenderly. In this way, your feminine side will come into its own and you will notice that this energy is good for you. In a relationship, you want to do everything for yourself and not be dependent on anyone. You can achieve everything on your own, but let your partner help you, even when you don’t need help, and let go of control more often, your nervous system will thank you.
Lilith in Aquarius: the rebel
If you have Lilith in this unusual air sign, then you are a creative person who highly values her personal space and alone time. Being part of a society, collective or group is great, but you also have an individual side that you should show to the whole world. Lilith in Aquarius likes to act against all rules and authorities and likes to shock people with her strange ideas.
In communication, just like in love, you are quite secretive and distant, even when you like someone. You always leave enough room for every scenario and are always prepared for anything. It looks like nothing can surprise you anymore. You are special and authentic, but sometimes you are afraid to show it because you think that you will not be accepted by others. You should let go of this fear and enjoy your authenticity.
It is not difficult for you to provoke others. Either to get a reaction from them or to test them. The way you flirt is charming teasing that other people usually don’t even understand as flirting. You then have to be a little more specific, but you still remain quite creative and unusual. You are a real rebel, both in bed and on the street. Your dark feminine energy will be fully expressed when you let go of thinking too much about your worth.
Lilith in Pisces: the romantic
If you have Lilith in this romantic water sign, then you are an understanding and empathetic person who has no trouble helping others. You have a special ability to understand all people and look deeply into their souls. This gift helps you connect with people and have much success in communicating with them.
In love, you are extremely romantic and caring, sometimes more than necessary, but you never have any ill intentions. Unless someone cheats on you or hurts you. Then you can make a plan for revenge and carry it out cold-heartedly. On the other hand, when you are happy in a relationship, you have the habit of wearing rose-colored glasses and always looking at everything with optimism. Of course, it’s good to be optimistic, but you should be able to notice red flags, especially in the beginning.
What you should learn to heal your feminine radiance and dark Lilith energy is this: Set clear boundaries and be clear about your needs. You are by no means naive, but it can often seem that way because you don’t always advocate for your best interests. Sometimes you have to be selfish to save yourself or make your life easier. You don’t need to torture yourself, let others do something for you and just be grateful. This will raise your vibration and help you build healthier relationships.